itsbetterthananal:

im waiting for the day i can use this as a reaction image and confuse everyone for a good 5-30 seconds before they get it

image


ohioisonfiire:

I’ve met some pricks in my time but you are the fucking cactus.



monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck


(Source: timewastingclub)



beatlesboobsandbulges:

My dad just said: at your age you’ll probably wanna try a lot of things. Boys, girls, being a girl, being a boy, being punk or goth or spunky. And im okay with that. As long as you don’t come home and tell me youre a republican


johnlockshipsdestiel:

officialprincewilliam:

officialprincewilliam:

can a dinosaur even get more fuckin rad?

image

you bet jurassican

i am so impressed by that dinosaur and that pun congratulations

(Source: officialprincewilliam)


endiot:

hes such a dork

i wanna sit on his dick


15yearold:

*dramatically falls down on my bed after a long day of sitting on the couch*

(Source: 16yrold)


ejacutastic:

kill the imposter

ejacutastic:

kill the imposter

(Source: blaaargh)


shingeki-no-kou:

I wish boobs did the bra thing without having to wear the bra


plantcuddles:

my motto: treat urself like hot shit even if u actually look like a tired 13 yr old


I’m really kinky and slutty but also really really shy

(Source: scimitarmoon)


(Source: 100327)